Let the Games Begin

That's right folks. It's that time of year. The event you've all been waiting for. It's...

The Bottle Weaning Olympics

Spectators have gathered from near and far to witness this momentous event!

Finalists have been training over 22 months for the chance to compete in this prestigious sporting event.

Olympic events include:

The Fridge Pulling Competition - This event combines the raw will and strength of the competitor as she attempts to find the jug of milk (and make her own dang bottle, if no one else will!).

The Falling Asleep Anywhere Competition - Due to numerous late nights screaming practicing, the competitor lets herself fall asleep at many different venues, with the speed of an Olympic athlete of this caliber.

The Eating Real Food Event - This event proves very difficult for most competitors, as they are previously accustomed to relying on bottles to fill their little tummies.

The Distraction Event - This event was introduced by the Olympic facilitator as a way to distract competitors from thinking about bottles during the course of this competition. Distraction techniques include going to the park, making crafts, getting the mail, and singing "The Wheels on the Bus" repeatedly to the crying competitor.

The Vocal Strength Event - Competitors show their disapproval by breaking down into multiple crying fits. Vocal strength is judged by Olympic facilitators, and the competitor is then sent to her room.

These events all required great skill and determination. Competitors trained endlessly for the chance to become an Olympic Champion. And even though there were times of discouragement and despair...



...In the end, one little girl reigned triumphant!